fall in chicago
i'm here at loyola university chicago school of law and living in a lovely condo up on the twelfth floor of a high rise. we have an expansive view of western chicago and its suburbs. i'm quite enjoying the city life. i thought i was a country mouse, but the subways, buses and giant versions of large chain stores are suiting me. i haven't seen stars in the night sky since i've been here, but the light-polluted skyline is an adequate substitute.

law school is going swimmingly. it's difficult and stressful, but i'm not losing my hair yet. cold sweats in the middle of the night, maybe. nightmares about deer-in-headlights-syndrome during finals, yes. i'm involved with many school societies: art law, for one. we had a guest lecturer who happened to be the artist, Christo's, lawyer. i'm also a student bar association rep for my class section and the fundraising chair for intellectual property society. my brain likes the exercise. dave thinks i'm torturing myself.

dave matthews is in law school as well. 3 blocks down chicago ave. at northwestern law school (with the smarty-pantses) it's been quite a change for us, but not a difficult adjustment. we even have a gig coming up next week at a wonderful wrigleyville venue, uncommon ground. some classmates will be coming down to watch me do something other than study law.

perhaps i'll have a chance to work on my next album over the holidays...i'll have a whole month to catch my breath before the law takes hold again in january after MLK day.

I hope all is well in LI music-scene land and all the other music communities i've played in and visited. please drop a note when you get a chance.

june 24, '06

here is my seasonal update:
still no myspace page. am railing against it. i've seen what it does to adolescents. dave and i have a gig coming up. it will most likely be our last one in a while, so pretty please come on down to the pisces this coming friday, june 30th.

school let out today. yippeee! this year was one of the longest ever. i have three even longer ones ahead of me with law school.

most importantly, my honeymoon is coming up. we are going before the wedding. i know, we're odd. alaska and luxury cruise all rolled into one. biking and hiking and dogsledding and kayaking and gold mining all followed by fine dining, entertainment and opulence. should be pretty tolerable.

still no new album. perhaps it is on hold for good. who knows. i'll let you all know if/when this thing is happening. ciao for now. don't forget - pisces farewell show before law school this friday!!

mar. 19, '06

tomorrow is spring - my favorite time of year. appropriately, things are springing into action for me. i have received some law school acceptances. i feel exhilarated, proud, relieved. ...now i just have to make it through the next three years and i'll be golden. i've been writing. music. i sent an email today to the production company doing the next big che movie coming out in a couple of years. it's called Guerilla, and i happened to have this little ol' song about che. i know it's an exercise in futility, but i certainly have nothing to lose. and dougee-fresh did my "to aleida" proud. it certainly deserves to be on the big screen now.

here are some newy lyrics:

well you told me beware of the vicious love; it's coming,
and i best be suited up with armor and the like.

and then it came in the form of rain,
my armor sank, and my heart floated away.
it made it's way down the river seine,
with your initials scrawled in my pen,
hoping you'd recover me
while searching in puddles for me
outside of notre dame

and then you came
in the form of a storm
my heart was tossed assunder
and buried in your thunder.

i dreamt it grew a wild flower
tendrils reaching for the sun
you kept me like a promise
until my last petals came undone.

...to be continued...

jan. 14, '06

new year, new things

my life seems as if it's always changing. my horizon is always beckoning with new and fun things to conquer, try and explore. i feel as though i've lived a hundred lives in these 28 years. i'm not complaining. i'm certainly not bored. i attended hofstra university school of law's open house on tues. and felt excited for my future. i'm not certain whether i'll be attending that school come next fall, but i know i'll be studying law somewhere. if you're wondering where i've been for the past several months...now you know.

applying to law school is not an easy task. i'm about finished with the process and am nail bitingly awaiting those decisions.

my fiance...(gasp!, fiance??!?!...yep), david jaye to you (davy matthews to me), is also applying to law schools - the nation's top, at that.

so that's another thing i've been doing: wedding planning. FUN FUN FUN. the dress, the flowers, the registry ( i heart designer jonathan adler, BTW) ...i can see why people get divorced and then do it all over again. hahaha. for all of you bouncing around the LI music scene, that is how dave and i met...back in the day at the pisces cafe, jeremy's wednesday open mic night. thanks pisces. thanks jeremy.

why law?
nosy minds want to know
fine...here 'tis:
i'm interested in various types of law...environmental, human rights, intellectual property, family law, and constitutional. i think it's a dynamic and exciting field. i think that it could be whatever i want or need it to be at different stages of my life (the workaholic stage, the mommy stage). i enjoy working with intelligent people. i enjoy fighting for causes i believe in. i enjoy making money for working with intelligent people and fighting for causes i believe in. i love learning. if you're curious beyond this, just shoot me an email.

have i abandoned music?
by golly, no. i still love making music. i have some songs down toward a next album. i have a couple of gigs coming up...check the shows page and come on down, please. it's just not my swirling, #1 priority anymore. i love that i'm a chameleon.

sept. 16, '05

howdy all.

where've i been? not sure if i can quite answer that myself. as for my whereabouts today...basket weaving at Bayport Bluepoint High School. can you think of a better way to spend a friday? i can't. i played a gig at the tiger lily in port jeff this past weekend. i was reminded of why i stopped playing in the first place. 'blah' sums it up.
my days now are spent dealing with young-folk: cleaning hands covered with fingerpaint, writing referrals for those who can't control their language, and for a few good minutes of the day...i teach art to those who want to learn.

in the evenings, i watch stupid television, i eat chocolate, maybe fold some laundry, maybe even cook.

do i play? yes. i play when the house is empty. i write when the house is empty. i will record sometime this year. a new cd is definitely in my future...sometime in '06. i won't come out to open mics because the tv is that good and the gas is that expensive. i think a toyota prius is also in my future. maybe i'll come out more after i'm in one of those.

i'll see you when i see you.

two yellow lines
dissappear
on the horizon behind,
i'm in shadow; you're in sun.
where i'm lost,
you are magellan.

this isn't the speed we're moving.
we're two viscous drops of water
frozen in a frame.
we're two high tension wires
strung up in the rain.

and if i could wrap a ribbon 'round this,
i would.
if i could hold each pixel in my hands, i would, i would, i would

leaving with no luggage,
only lightest memories in tow,
leaving the aperture wide open,
leaving trace enough
for you to follow.

and this isn't the speed we're moving.
you're a cork shot from a bottle;
i'm a glacier in the snow.
you're a great big clap of thunder
...i am an echo.

if i could wrap a ribbon 'round this, i would.
if i could hold each pixel in my hand, i would, i would, i would.

two yellow lines
dissappear.

may 27, '05

- better explanation for leaving the touring life:
the whole gritty thruth...

i hate being on the road. i hate driving. i hate sitting for hours in a car. i hate sleeping on someone's floor, or couch, or dirty sheets next to a pile of dog food. i hate sleeping in sketchy hotels with drug deals occurring outside my window. i hate dealing with people who couldn't be bothered with me. i hate begging. i hate cigarette smoke. i hate playing to a noisy crowd of teenagers playing card games. i hate playing to nobody. i hate not getting paid. i hate not getting paid. i hate not getting paid.

when the bad outweighs the good and when there is no end of 'bad' in sight, it's time to move on.

'nother newy:
everything

and so you say, "there's nothing like flowers."
but this brilliant heart you see isn't real,
it's paint-by-number,
though it's loud as thunder.

i am five feet, three inches of mire,
encapsulated by barbed wire,
but still you find me,
and you peel it all away.

if you keep me until the tendrils of spring,
if i make my way through the sediment,
i will give you everything.

when we met five thousand years ago,
i gifted you a flint stone,
fashioned your arrows,
and drew your bow.

and in a waking dream,
the clouds were in my hair,
i sat atop a mountain and reconciled
to go nowhere.

but if you keep me until the tendrils of spring,
and if i make my way through the sediment,
i will give you everything.

may 26, '05

- i recently re-read dr. suess's "oh, the places you'll go". what a brilliant piece of literature. right now, i'm in what he calls the 'waiting place.' waiting to be called for a job interview, waiting until my lease is up, waiting for a 'yes' or 'no'.

- dave and i went to europe for a few weeks last month. it was good to be back there. the weather was crap, but the company was good. my favorite cities: bolzano, giverny, san gimignano, monte carlo, and florence.

- you'll notice that my website is not really NEW, just revamped and updated. the format works for me, so i'm sticking with it.

new song:

spool of eyelet

i would lie here for a thousand years
with the stilts i might stand upon to keep your tears from falling down.
with the stem of a wine glass held steady in my hand,
i might catch them all one by one.

i'd fill up your heart with them
up to the brim with them,
and hope that hope would float to the top of them.

my mouth, a needle,
my words, the thread,
darning the ghosts back in their holes
and mending your fears.
with a spool of eyelet unraveling in my hands,
i'd sew the seams undone, one by one.

i'd fill up your heart with them
up to the brim with them,
and hope that hope would float to the top of them.

march 9, '05

- long time. i know. i've had good reason. my last few months have been spent at many a doctor's office, lab, and even hospital. i had a mystery illness that has left me the way it came...unexplained. i saw an infectious disease specialist who took half my blood to test me for things that i couldn't even pronounce. i even recently had a lymph node biopsy to search for answers. but, hey, i feel like myself again, so i won't ask anymore questions. i will only say sorry for those people who came out to shows that i had cancelled on short notice.

i'm back in va now. at along last. dave and i will be leaving for our mini southeast tour on friday. if you know anyone in birmingham, al, carrboro, nc, decatur, ga, OR columbia, sc...please let them know to check my website. we're down here just in time for spring to spring. i can't tell you how much i'm looking forward to leaves.

also on the horizon, a trip to france and italy...not to tour. boo. but really just as well. so many sights to see, and carrying a guitar around can be quite a hassle on planes and trains.

so, i will be keeping up with my notes once again, and i promise not to get too far behind on important news. hope to see you at a show soon.

december 17, '04

- colder still. sorry to those of you who were so viciously cut off from checking my website for the last two days. i apologize for the resulting separation anxiety. i had a lapse of sanity and forgot to renew my domain and webhosting service. more and more signs point to 'i neeeed a manager'.
-signal on the starboard will have a review in the internationally distributed magazine 'Venus' in their spring issue...due to hit the stands in your local borders on march 1st. i will remind you again when the time comes, of course.
-the new year's itinerary is taking shape. please do contact me if you know of any place I should be playing and am not.
-very very very stubborn tonsillitis is still with me. i will have them removed and auction them off on ebay if it doesn't clear up soon.

'nother new song half done:

i can pretend i never saw the pirate ship.
in narration of details,
it's so clever what we omit.
and since i've lost my love to the marauder,
i bitterly regret i am addicted to drinking water.

i pulled the cork from the bottle
with malicious triumph;
exhanged his kiss for pearls,
swelled in consequence, hand in hook.
i set out for a tree, needing only a stick;
threw an anchor with a thread, sweating, seasick.

'twas a sanguinary affair
with rubies red and rare.
dark were his thoughts,
darker was his hair.

to be continued...

november 11, '04

- new song emerging-
the way my mouth takes shape to call your name
invokes a hurricane,
breaks me up from state to state,
i'm down in the fissure.
like a cattail waves in the everglades,
like a 40 watt flicker in the pleat of a lampshade,
i'm swirling in an eddy,
and you catch me.

our kiss is a choir,
my fingers - piano keys.
one simple chord: i'm playing you sharp
and natural and whole, with sustain.
like foam from the crest of a billow hits the sand,
and lines intersect in the palms of our hands,
i'm weaving in a tapestry,
and you catch me.

there's a ring on the wood
where i left my glass too long.
all my rocks have turned to gems,
all my spiders spin their webs
and the blue and the sylvia ridges are lookin' on.
like the greens of leaves turn like a rubik's cube,
like the needle of a compass turns me north to you,
i'm pirouetting across the floor into your arms,
and you catch me.

november 2, '04

- happy fall. we're knee deep in dried leaves over here. dave and i just returned from an easy, yet somehow debilitating hike up at skyline drive. our legs stiffened on our way to the second trail which boasted a waterfall, so that'll have to wait until next time.
- ladybug infestation has begun. i used to look at them with affection, but they disgust me now...moreso than spiders. plus, the wasps are relentless the past week or so. they're pretty clumsy things. looks to me like they crash into things a whole bunch while they're flying.
- i hope you are all enjoying the new cd... because it's going to be a good while before i get the funds or produce enough material to record again.
- gigs page is about to blossom. i'm (hopefully) setting up dates in GA, PA, western NY, WV, AL, and NC. keep yer eyes peeled for them dates, and let me know if you have any friends in those states 'cause i sure don't. haha. oh, and if anyone would be interested in putting together a house concert, i'd be all for playing it.

- my stomach is in knots waiting for the dang election results...i can't take the suspense.

october 7, '04

-the new cd is here. it looks fabulous, and it sounds good too. david and i had a little cd release party in ny at the pisces cafe. that place is rich with memories for us and has been a wonderful music venue for local musicians. thank you, justine and jeff, for helping to host a successful evening for us and thank you all who attended.
today is my mom's birthday and for those of you who have the cd and did not realize - that is her on the back of the cd. cute, huh?
this music-for-a-living thing is suiting me just fine. except i think i need to come up with another way to make money. haha. i've been substitute teaching in the local elementary schools. it's the loveliest drive to work i've ever had to make. in the mornings, all the calves are out. they bound around the older, fatter cows and look more like goats than anything. the guilt of my return to meat-eating takes hold then. poor little soon-to-be double-quarter-pounders. they have no idea. oh well.
the weather is getting colder here. it's double blanket time and sweater weather. i refuse to wear socks around the house or to bed, though. yuck.

hey, just in case anyone who is reading this is of college age and wants me to play at your school, it's really easy: just go to your student programming board and give them my contact info (website/email).
ok, gotta go listen to the Virginia game on satellite radio. (no tv - boo!)

september 6, '04

- it's 5:30 in the pm here in dyke, va. the past two weeks here have been spent settling in to the country way of life. the house, an old civil-war-era dinosaur, has given my eyes much to love and my hands much to clean. i first tried to rid the house of its cobwebs, but i view them as a welcome addition now, as i've found the spiders to be my friends. i get a kick out of watching them hog-tie the wasps between the screen and the glass of my bedroom window. i cheer them on, in fact: "c-o-b-w-e-b-s...that's the way we spell success!"

i played a gig in staunton last night. met some lovely folk. 'twas the best bar gig i ever did play. yes, there was drunken loudness, but it was bearable and forgivable due to the warm response and applause (and tips) from the patrons.

i could get used to things here. the quiet strikes me most. i'm afraid after a year of this peace, returning to the noise of even suburbia might be like driving daggers in the ears. my neighbors are cows and horses. the dogs are allowed to roam free (which is a bit scary for the jogger). for pete's sake, on my way home from staunton at 2am, i had to stop smack in the middle of sylvia ridge road for two little lap dogs taking a night's stroll.

the house has a porch on its west side. i suppose i could rid it of its hornet and wasp nests, cobwebs and snakeskins; taking in a sunset might be more comfy without them. but, the squeamish city girl in me has not found the courage yet to do so.

nothing else to report. the album is in replication process now. am hoping to have it by my next gig in chicago. please do check it out when it arrives.

august 20, '04

tomorrow is 'move to VA' day.
i can't wait to once again call it home. it's been a good while for that. please do come and visit. our place is remarkable. my mind is now too scattered with worries over loading my car to begin to explain, but perhaps i'll post pictures on the site.

i gots me a new geetar, btw. a perty martin, yesiree. it has a built-in tuner that i'm in love with.
hope you can make it out to a show so's you can hear it.

poem for an august night

these old windows suit me fine
when the sun goes down and the street lights shine.
footprints fade, nightbirds stay and
your chin finds my shoulder and your lips
find my face.

put your ear here and listen:
sound of decades,
song of pioneers,
these hands that wrought lightning from sand,
and those nails bust' out from their beams.

the bat of my lids and my lashes,
my stunged backs of knees and tree-bark scratches
bemoan summer's will of days short and long gone.
but...a kiss on the cheek for the indian chief
who'll welcome me back next year.

july 31, '04

album is done. finito. that's what i said. it'll be off to the duplicator this week. then, you'll be able to purchase it about 4 weeks after that!

i reread my africa travel journal yesterday for fun. i had forgotten some of my more eyebrow-raising entries. here's one...

august 23, 2000 day 15
we arrived in malawi at about 12:30 on monday. after being interrogated by the border police, we proceeded to chitimbe beach - another lovely campsite run by a german lesbian named giza. things are getting weirder and weirder all the time. so, we hung around and washed a shitload of laundry by hand in the lake [this would later prove to be a BIG mistake]. i played pool on the most ghetto-tastic pool table i've ever seen. at dinner that night, a few others and i agreed to take a walk the following morning with a guide in the countryside.

well, "walk" turned out to be somewhat of an understatement. we were up at 5am thinking it was 6 because of the time change. it was me, craig, richard, sybil, and jackson, the tour guide. had i been told the night before that we would be climbing a mountain, i probably would have opted for sleeping in, but i was already underway. we climbed for about 2 1/2 hours and arrived at a plateau with breathtaking views. "this is why we climb mountains," chimed craig. what an accomplishment. i'm sure it looked 10 times more beautiful than if i were just transported to the spot. we found a waterfall, walked around it from the back and sat in the cave underneath it. jackson told us that slaves used to hide there to dodge the slavecatchers. we walked on greeting locals: men, women and children carrying what looked like some pretty heavy loads on their heads and backs. geez, they had flip-flops on, and I carried on that my feet hurt in my good hiking boots.

the countryside was beautiful. the land was carefully segmented into rows of cassava - green, then brown, then green again. going up got easier as the endorphines kicked in, and i turned around periodically to see the lake down below get smaller and smaller. we were kilometers away from where we began. i had a talk with sybil (once the land was flat enough to concentrate on something other than climbing) about why the children's bellies become distended from malnutrition. soon after, we stopped for lunch, and i shared with jackson who had nothing. as he was eating, i glanced at his broken flip-flop and then at his belly to check for swelling.

the sun was high and hot on the way back down. we had a three hour walk downhill; the lake looked like a tiny dot, and I was developing a blister on my heel. plus, my toes were all crammed up in the front of my boots from the pressure of descending. i should have worn my flip-flips. everyone was silent - concentrating on not slipping on the rocks. jackson was singing, "it is not difficult. it is your first time." whatever, jackson.

we made it back by 3:30pm. i spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing and reading by the lake. my body ached, but i was proud of myself for going. just before dinner, arne insisted we put on our costumes for the costume party. the owner (lesbian-german giza) had a box-load of bizarre old outfits, and we all picked from it our fashion creations. i wore this pink nighty sheer thing with a hot pink tube top peeking through from underneath and a pink and purple paisley 60's retro kind of shirt. what an ensemble. everyone looked like a freak show. the boys were the best, of course, because they were in drag - and our gay pals: richard, jim and jonathan, were naturals. richard definitely had the best dress and the best legs. we drank beer and malangria (a white wine version of sangria), and we played a dangerous version of spoons (with knives). we danced and got silly (as people dressed like freaks often will). mc showed off her moves while teddy pole danced. some people skinny dipped in the lake. not me. ew.
yep...weirder and weirder.

june 30, '04

summer is underway. still can't help but wake up at 7am every morning. i need a few late nights to cure me of that - perhaps the 4th weekend will do me in.

i saw fahrenheit 9/11 on sunday. oh, home sweet home. that's about all i'll say about that.

on sat. night, i played at the pisces with david matthews, carlo justin and jeremy gilchrist. took some good pictures that evening. the new red velvety curtain provides a nice backdrop. i think when i'm done being a musician, i'll be a photographer.

the cd is just about complete. doug and i are in the tweaking stages of it all. i must start thinking about a good place to celebrate its release. suggestions anyone?
about one month left until dave and i move to VA - you best get your fix in while we're still here. check the shows page, will ya?

june 18, '04

new review up on the reviews page by mick skidmore of relix magazine. the issue will be on the stands on june 29th. go to your local borders and buy one!!

june 12, '04

i've had trouble sleeping as of late. lying there, contemplating just about everything there is to contemplate, my mind becomes a little venus flytrap:
here comes another thought; thwap, got you! now you're in there, and you'll be hashed out until i'm through. and if my body were up for the feat, i'd make a go of climbing the walls, too. hmmm. wall-climbing just might make me tired enough to sleep. restlessness? oh yes. vampire? could be. never was much of a sleeper...or a sitter. stillness makes my feet tap.

the sun is shining through a clear sky right now. i'm inside with windows shut tight, gearing up for some studio time later on today.

so, virginia is for haters? that's the word on the street, and i'm pissed off, to say the least. well, i'm moving to earlysville, ne'ertheless. and am good and ready to bring a world of hate to the haters. i'll put a sign on my front lawn (which nobody will see except for the cows) that reads: "welcome all ye non-haters. all haters, please drive off the nearest narrow bridge." great - more stuff to process in the middle of the night during my virtual wall-climbing.

june 6, '04

anniversary of D-day today. observances and commemorative events on tv. for me, the patriotic pomp doesn't translate. here, the history channel trumps, and i'm learning how explosives were rigged to destroy bunkers and how the tanks scaled the hedgerows. footage of amphibious death machines emitting black plumes of smoke gives me a better sense of what my father's father saw when he landed in normandy 60 years ago.
war is so much more a formidable prospect than the pep rally makes it to be.

related (in an unrelated sort of way):
in february of 2000, my friend, craig, from brisbane, came to stay with me. during the drive from the airport to my front door, he marveled at the number of american flags we passed.
"there's another gas staion with yet another flag!"
"i never noticed," i replied, "and quit ruining my perfunctory view."

totally unrelated:
i'm getting nearer to completing my album. it even has a title and a cover design all set to go. last day of recording is scheduled for june 12th. beyond that, just mastering. so, hang on tight for about two more months. hmmm. just in time for me to move to greene county. maybe i'll need two release parties.

june 1, '04

- i spent the weekend down near cville, va. i barely had time enough to catch my breath, and we were heading back up north. 'twas a memorable, enjoyable stay, nonetheless.

things i saw:
-more roadkill than ever
-more cyclists on narrow, meandrous roads than ever
-more of rt. 664 than i should have before i realized i was going the wrong way

things i learned:
-'yahoo maps' sucks
-one simply cannot drive to 101 w. main street
-run (don't walk) away from university heights
-ads for apartments should include a scratch 'n' sniff section for quality control
-the "real" dave (not that inveterate impostor) lives in scottsville
and...
-silly adults, glass blowing is for kids

well, i now feel that home will not be home unless i have cows on my front lawn. thanks, earlysville. great, now i have standards. we shall see.
gigs coming up...you know where to look.

may 11, '04

- 7pm thoughts about 1am thoughts

thunder, among other things, woke me this morning at 1am. i never mind such sleep interruptions - aside from the relentless turning of the wheels (in my head and otherwise), the steady rain was comforting. better to have the windows open, i say.
at 1am and wide awake, i seem to know just what the day is good for...as if my mattress were roasting me with ambition. i can't even hardly wait to move about. plans to implement! heck, i'd even do the dishes. 'tis a pity, then, when 7am comes, and i'm trudging through the mire. 1am plans dashed. how is that?

on a side note...i have some shows coming up this weekend. david matthews and i have our first ever split bill at the pisces this friday! also, kokopelli II is on saturday. get there nice and early, folks. check the reviews page. justin petrone, a musician/journalist friend, had some nice things to say about 'with violets'.

may 5, '04

- morning notes

not quite 7am now. it's chilly outside, but lovely still. am dressed for work but not rearing to go. instead, i'm fettered by my caffeine-enhanced daydreams. i'm imagining what it must look like this morning in earlysville, va, with the sun coming up to wake the allegheny and the blue ridge. wondering how far along the trees are in their spring garb and what it must be like to stand betwixt the sunrise and the mountains at 7am. oh, not even to mention the wildflowers! not much longer until i know firsthand.
can may 5th live up to such morning fancies? underground sprinkler systems sputter, "im-p-p-possible."
happy cinco de mayo everyone.